dumb gifts (matter more than you know)

 

mindless and small they sit on my desk. at least, they seem mindless and small, if you glance over them.

small gifts matter more than you know. little puzzle pieces that remind us of inside jokes and giggles errupting straight from the belly.

that was the character they were dressed as when we went to the con together.

that's one of my favourite characters, and one of the last films we saw before you moved.

they're so small, so silly, aren't they?

but i'm small and silly. you're even smaller, and even sillier.

the only thing not small about us is our shared laughter, and the least silly thing about us is the love and the care and the fact i would die for you a million times in a million universes but i'd rather live for you in just this one.

night out

 overpriced food and bright lights, shows glittering on stages and multitudes of people - and despite it all, my eyes only see you.

life is busy. its chaotic and messy and terrible and sometimes you forget to take

the people you love and just have a shitty snack and go to the fair and laugh a little.

thank you for making me laugh a little <3

about 'come to me'

 i would like to consider 'come to me' my first proper single. ive posted music before this, but it was either just me playing around or i deleted it out of embarrassment lol - i did upload the loveletter EP but i plan to one day remaster it all and redo it, so i dont count it in the same category.

'come to me' is a very experimental song from many perspectives. lyrically, it started with a simple idea of 'i want to write a song that plays into the trope of vampires saying "come to me"' and evolved from there. it turned into yearning, almost begging, pleading to be let in and to be loved. vampires are an excellent vessel for yearning to me, and i think thats where the song began derailing lol

in terms of instrumentals, its my most 'risky' track; im currently very restricted in terms of materials and music, im slowly building up to get a keyboard and a nicer mic but for now im literally just playing with premade loops and my headphone mic. its a very rudimentary setup. but i think i managed to stray a little from more 'conventional' sounds, as much as is possible using sampled loops, and slowly stepped closer to something more personal. something more me.

i think im moving in the right direction. and i think 'come to me' is the first step into that direction. i still love my electronic dark-pop sound too, but i think i want to branch out at times too into something darker - someday i will.

wild dog

wild dog

no coyote or wolf be found

no moon or sunshine to light my stride

when i come for you,

and oh trust, i will

wild dog, suffer me

suffer me to be found

no church or god can hold me down

when i drag you below ground

wild dog, suffer me

suffer me to be held in your arms

never tame me, hide my vice

'cause ill drag you down below ground