this one's been posted since a bit, but i forgot to talk about it here. i made it on a whim. ive taken on this habit, every once in a while, of going out for walks in the dead of night. there's nobody on the streets past 1 am, which is a huge surprise to me. my personal favourite though is the window of time between 2:30 and 4 am. thats when i wrote this little thing.
its quite bare. its lackluster and quiet and odd. but i like it, its got charm. im trying to be more myself. even if it sounds a little awkward right now.
huh. the year is ending, isnt it. just a couple more hours and 2025 will be behind me. im not sure how to feel about it
it was my first year, as in, the first official 365 days after moving out. im unemployed still and always getting relentlessly humiliated by the job centre in this town. its cold and it makes my joints ache, and theres nobody to talk to except for the med students who bark at me, so i suspect it wont be a very productive task to talk to them. but i guess it hasnt been all bad.
inspiration has been through the roof. im making art again and it feels mine, and i cant tell you how long its been since ive made art for myself. i havent seen snow in years, and its a very welcome sight. im learning new things about myself and dancing more often and becoming unpalatable. i think thats a very good thing.
here are my goals for this next year; get more tattoos. make more music. get more piercings. say 'i love you' to my friends and 'piss off' to my non-friends. write and write and write. be weird. be scared. make love to what scares me. read more. lose myself in the vastness and loneliness and then swallow the fog down and let it into my lungs. make friends with ghosts. survive another year. and lastly, put out a proper ep.
happy new year's eve. i love you and if you're reading this, i hope you have a good one. the world sucks and living is just a waiting room, but make it the warmest and gentlest of waiting rooms. eat well and sing loud, drink and kiss and make love. i'll see you on the other side.
xoxo, mikey. 31/12/2025.
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