i have a big blackboard on my bedroom wall. and on it, i write down all the people i have ever loved in the most beautiful numerical sequences. white chalk and care and attention to the finest detail. i fill the board with even and uneven, with multiplications of how much i love them and i subtract all of the hurt and i fill the board with them all.
and then when i'm done, i look around and i realise there's no space for me on there.
so i kneel down by the littlest corner and i write -0. because when you subtract zero, it really doesnt change the equation at all. whether its there or not doesnt really matter.
im not sure where i'm going with this metaphor. i'm all numbers and chalk lines and im still so stupid. i dont know how to make space for myself but i do know how to take it all up with my love for them.
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